Key Strategies
Effective workplace communication requires audience-focused writing that saves readers time. Use the following strategies to produce concise messages, follow best practices for communication in diverse workplaces, and apply positive framing and “you” view where appropriate.
Concision Strategies
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Eliminate Meaningless Words
Examples
Wordy: Employees who are driving to work should be encouraged to take mass transit.
Concise: Employees should be encouraged to take mass transit.
Wordy: In the interests of better meeting the needs of our customers, we have implemented an online ordering system.
Concise: To meet customer needs, we have implemented an online ordering system.
Wordy: There are a lot of members of our team who would like to move to short standing meetings.
Concise: Many members of our team would like to move to short standing meetings.
Replace Awkward Phrases with a Single Word
Examples
Wordy: It would be appreciated if you would approve the contract by May 1
Concise: Please approve the contract by May 1.
Wordy: Due to the fact that the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we will need to rethink our strategies for recruiting and hiring.
Concise: Because the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we need to rethink our recruiting and hiring strategies.
Take Out Intensifiers
Intensifiers, adverbs that convey an additional degree of emotional context, are often unnecessary to the meaning of the message or can be removed for concision.
Examples
Wordy: I am really sorry about missing last week’s vital staff meeting.
Concise: I apologize for missing last week’s staff meeting.
Wordy: Very detailed-oriented and extremely productive staff have earned amazingly high bonuses this year.
Concise: Detail-oriented and productive staff earned high bonuses this year.>/span>
Remove Passive Constructions
Passive voice is a sentence construction where the object of the action acts as the subject of the sentence. For clarity and concision, use active voice.
Examples
Wordy: The report was written by Zelda.
Concise: Zelda wrote the report.
Wordy: Taxes should be submitted by April 15.
Concise: Submit taxes by April 15.
Exception: When is passive voice appropriate? When you want to avoid assigning blame, and when you can create better flow within a paragraph by reordering a sentence to put the object before the subject.
Avoid Nominalizations
Nominalizations, or nouns derived from a verb or adjective, force you add another verb to create a complete sentence. Eliminating nominalizations can help with concision.
Examples
Wordy: The building services committee raised an objection to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking.
Concise: The building services committee objected to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking.
Wordy: Once you have created documentation for the situation, we will make a decision about next steps.
Concise: Once you have documented the situation, we will decide next steps.
Eliminate Metadiscourse
Writing about your own writing or thought process, or metadiscourse, can almost always be deleted.
Examples
Wordy: I would like to point out that it has become clear that we need to analyze this situation more fully in order to understand it.
Concise: The situation requires further analysis.
Wordy: I would like to thank you for…
Concise: Thank you for…
Wordy: Through our research we were able to find…
Concise: We found…
Avoid Stuffy Business Clichés
Avoid rote business language, which tells your readers that you’ve used AI without careful editing, that your ideas might be as unoriginal as your use of language, and/or that you didn’t care enough to personalize your message. It also often adds wordiness.
Examples
Wordy: Per your request,…
Concise: As you requested,…
Wordy: Please be advised that the procedure for leave reports has changed.
Concise: We have changed the procedure for leave reports.
Wordy: Attached please find…
Concise: I have attached… or The attachments include…
Wordy: Thank you for your time and consideration.
Concise: Thank you for [something specific that you appreciate]
Psychology Today compiled a list of annoying corporate buzzwords to avoid, including “circle back,” “deep dive,” and “close the loop.” Likewise, Jack Appleman, in 10 Steps to Successful Business Writing, recommends replacing stuffy language with simple, straightforward words:
Stuffy |
Straightforward |
| as per your request | as requested |
| assumption | belief |
| at the present time | now |
| cognizant of | aware of |
| commence, inaugurate, originate | begin, start |
| consummate | close |
| conversant with | familiar with |
| due to the fact that | because |
| encounter (verb) | meet |
| endeavor (verb) | try |
| evident | clear |
| furnish | provide |
| inasmuch as | because |
| in lieu of | instead of |
| in regard to | about |
| in the event that | if |
| in the neighborhood of | about, roughly, approximately |
| of considerable magnitude | large |
| on the occasion of | when |
| peruse | review, study |
| precipitated | caused |
| predicated on | based on |
| prior to | before |
| pursuant to | according to |
| subsequent to | after |
Inclusive Language
Inclusive language often changes over time. (For example, rather than “handicap accessible,” the appropriate term is now simply “accessible.”) This requires adaptability and ongoing learning. When educating yourself or others about inclusive language, try to shift away from a blaming/shaming mindset and instead to focus on the end goal of maintaining an inclusive workplace.
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Use Gender Neutral Nouns and Pronouns
Use gender-neutral nouns and pronouns when referring to groups or individuals; using “they” as a singular pronoun is now accepted usage, though some audiences may find it grammatically awkward.
Examples
Instead of: All salesmen must attend this week’s meeting.
More Inclusive: All sales staff must attend this week’s meeting.
Instead of: Every physician must complete his continuing education credits by the end of the fiscal year.
More Inclusive: Physicians must complete their continuing education credits by the end of the fiscal year.
Use the Correct Names and Pronouns
Ask colleagues what names and pronouns they use, listen to what they say, and take notes if you’re worried you won’t remember.
When meeting new people, offering your pronouns can be a polite way to prompt them to offer their own.
Avoid Irrelevant Personal Details
Avoid personal details that have nothing to do with the issue at hand.
Examples
Instead of: We have just hired a disabled person, who will be Vice President of Sales and Marketing.
More Inclusive: We have just hired a new Vice President of Sales and Marketing.
More Inclusive: We have just hired a new Vice President of Sales and Marketing, who has a disability. We will need to review accessibility in some of our custom build software.
Instead of: The new African-American CEO flew in from France this morning.
More Inclusive: The new CEO flew in from France this morning.
Use Person-First Language When Communicating With or Writing or Speaking About Marginalized or Underrepresented Groups
For example, phrases like “person with a disability,” or “person with HIV” emphasize the human being rather than prioritizing an impairment or illness.
Keep in mind that some communities see their difference as central to their identity and may not use person-first language. In those cases, use a phrase like autistic people or LGBTQ+ people. When in doubt, ask someone what they prefer or do a quick online search to avoid causing offense.
Avoid Making Assumptions about People's Abilities based on their Identity
Making snap judgements about people’s skills and knowledge based on who they are leads to mistakes. Don’t assume that your Gen Z colleague is entitled and selfish or that your Boomer colleague isn’t open to new ideas, and avoid stereotypes about members of racial and ethnic groups.
Example
Instead of: Consumers over 50, who are inexperienced with social media, may not be aware of the company’s new branding campaign.
More Inclusive: Consumers who are inexperienced with social media may not be aware of the company’s new branding campaign.
Positive Framing
Whenever possible, revise negative sentences into positives and offer alternatives when you can’t do something. When offering criticism, show audiences how they will benefit from improvement.
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State What You Can Do, Instead of What You Can't Do
Examples
Negative: It is impossible to repair your computer today.
Positive: Your repaired computer will be ready on Tuesday after 11 a.m.
Negative: You just can’t take that personal day next week; we haven’t finished all the annual reviews.
Positive: As soon as we complete the annual reviews, you can take a personal day.
Make Critiques Constructive
Example
Negative: Your report analyzing potential remote work policies didn’t make any sense.
Positive: Your report on potential remote work policies will make a better impression on the C suite with a clearer structure that separates and highlights the pros and cons of different approaches.
"You" View
Effective communicators frame positive or neutral messages in terms of audience concerns, hopes, interests, and preferences. One way of doing this is to revise for “you” view, which helps to emphasize the reader over the writer.
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Create "You" View with Second Person Pronouns
Examples
Writer focused: Tuesday is the only day that we can promise quick response to purchase order requests; we are swamped the rest of the week.
Reader focused: If you need a quick response, please submit your purchase order requests on Tuesday.
Writer focused: I know I’m late with the asset valuation report, but I haven’t been feeling well and I just haven’t had the energy needed to work through the numbers yet.
Reader focused: You will receive the asset valuation report on Monday at 8 a.m.—I haven’t been feeling well, but will work through the numbers over the weekend to ensure they are accurate.
Writer focused: I loved the sweater you gave me so much, thank you!
Reader focused: Thank you for the beautiful and warm sweater! You have a gift for finding thoughtful and useful presents.
Writer focused: When I reviewed this month’s sales report, I discovered the sales are much higher than the previous month.
Reader focused: Our sales doubled since last month, making us one step closer to achieving our quarterly goal.
Writer focused: Starting September 1, all employees will be required to use the new expense reporting software.
Reader focused: In order to process your reimbursements more quickly, we will be implementing more efficient expense reporting software starting September 1.
Create Reader-Focused Writing without Second Person Pronouns
Sometimes writing with the reader’s point of view in mind means not using “you.” For example, when pointing out a mistake, avoid taking an accusatory tone.
Examples
Accusatory: You left an error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.
Polite: Please fix the error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.
Polite & Inclusive: We need to fix the error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.
Using “we” can also be an effective way to show your reader that you’re aligned and highlight shared values, concerns, goals, or vision.
Examples
Accusatory: You should be keeping up with your cyber security training.
Polite & Inclusive: We all need to complete our cyber security training to ensure that we don’t have any costly breaches.